First, let’s talk about this. This is my baby and me on Easter, and she’s wearing overalls that used to be mine!! 😀
Been in a bit of a funk lately–rough couple of weeks at work, which generally puts my attitude in the pooper, and finding the beauty in life gets more difficult. But, finding the beauty in only things that make it easy doesn’t seem like I’m really challenging myself, so I’m not going to let as much time pass between posts again. I’ve been thinking a lot in the past few weeks about faith, and about living my faith out in my life, and I think I can possibly put enough of thoughts into words to be a post 🙂
I’ve been a Survivor fan for years and years. I was sitting on the couch watching the night that Season One aired, and now that we’re on Season, what, 18? I’m still on my couch every Wednesday night watching the tribes battle it out. In the past few years, it seems like nearly every season there is a token Christian. Someone who packs their Bible as their luxury item and uses every opportunity to throw in some Christian phrases, whether they fit with the circumstance to watch. I’ve cringed my way through many an episode, shuddering as various tribes claimed God’s grace or curse on them and wishing people would just stop making Christians look crazy. I think a lot of it also has to do with editing–overall, the people of faith on the show are edited in a way that makes them look a little bit crazier than they are.
So this season, when one of the contestants in the first episode was clearly someone who was a Christian, I assumed we were headed down the same road. I have been thrilled to be wrong! Watching Matt this season has been inspiring, encouraging, and convicting. Watching the show, it is literally like his faith is just pouring out of him. Some of the scenes have almost been awkward because it is SO clear that he is having intense conversations with a God he loves. He has been such a light to everyone he has come into contact with out there, and has been edited in a way that makes it obvious his faith is completely genuine.
And it’s made me wonder–why don’t we all have faith like that? Why don’t *I* have faith like that? Why is what people at work think of me more important than being a light? Why is it easier to get caught up in social networking than it is to get caught up in the word? I’ve been really convicted by how many times I’ve let go by that I haven’t spoken up when I should have, or times when I’ve gossiped when I shouldn’t have. So many times I look at the worst in people instead of just trying to show them Jesus. Because when that happens, it’s SO beautiful. And really, it’s what life is all about. I hope I start remembering that more.
the children are sleeping/but they’re running through my mind/the sun makes them happy/but the music makes them unwind/my cup runneth over/i worry about the stain/teach me to run to You/ like they run to me/ for every little thing/ could it be that everything is sacred?/ and all this time/ everything i’ve dreamed of/ has been right before my eyes
–caedmon’s call, sacred
I found the lines above from one of my favorite songs running through my mind all day today. I kept humming them while I was thinking about the nice weather outside and how happy my little guy must be to finally get to play outside for a long time (he LOVES going outside–we let him take things out to the trash can a few times a day just because he gets so excited that he squeals about running up the driveway!) And I loved coming home and getting to take both my kiddos outside for a walk. But I keep thinking about this song because it’s important to my life right now. Sometimes it’s really hard to balance work and motherhood. I find myself challenged to manage my time well, to be a good caretaker of my home as well as play with the kids, in addition to being a good wife and a good store manager. It’s a daily struggle for me to let go of how I want things to be and focus on how blessed I am. This song today has been a great reminder of the fact that my life, both the work part AND the mom part, are sacred. They’re both parts of my life that I need to be thankful for; both parts that require sacrifice and hard work; both parts that I have the chance to impact those around me. And just like I am supposed to be a light for my littles and teach them about Jesus, I am supposed to be a light at work. Sometimes I’m not as good at remembering that part of my life. But I feel like God is working on me a lot these days, and I am excited to be part of whatever it is he has planned for me.
In the meantime…how can anyone not be happy when they get to come home to THIS??
So Sam has gotten pretty hilarious lately–I don’t think I ever thought a one year old could be SO funny, but he cracks me up. And since unfortunately, Sam doesn’t have a mom who made him a baby book or records any of his milestones, I figured I should get a few of them written down somewhere!
Sam started this really annoying whining thing when he was about 12 months old. If he wanted something he couldn’t reach, or wanted to be picked up, he would hold out his arms and go, “EH! Eh! EHH!” in this super whiney tone. That wasn’t going to work for us. At this point, the only words Sam could say were “woof” and “go” and no amount of coaxing could get a “please” out of him. So, we finally decided, fine. He doesn’t need to say please, because he can’t yet. But he needs to say something nice–so, when we said, “Say something nice” he would grin and say, “WOOF!!” Somewhere along the way, he actually started using “woof” as “please” and we find it hilarious. At 16 months now, we say to him, “Sammy, can you say please?” and he woofs at us!!
The other hilarious thing he does now is answer “yes” to nearly every question he is asked. He says “yes” as “yesh” though, which adds to the laughs. We are enjoying our little chats with him: Sammy, are you cute? YESH! Sammy, do you love us? YESH!! Sammy, are you stinky? YESH!! He makes us laugh so much.
He also sometimes has a hard time being gentle with his baby sister. But he LOVES to kiss her–so if he is doing something inappropriate, like smacking her face, and I say, “Sam! Gentle!” he smiles sweetly and kisses the top of her head. He’s also very protective of her, and if we’re out and anyone looks at her, he immediately wants to kiss her, as if to mark his territory 😀 Love, love, love watching him grow up. And can’t wait for more laughs!
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I’d miss when Sam was a newborn, I’d pretty much be able to quit my job and live a life of luxury forever. So far, in the first 16months, they’d be wrong. I am 100% willing to admit that at some point this may change; I’m nowhere near an expert on parenting, and in the grand scheme of how long I’ll actually be a mom, I’m through, what, 5% of it? I also realize that having had another baby so soon probably changes it too, since every phase Sam outgrows I know Piper Joy will be in soon enough. So perhaps next year, I will eat these words. And I’ll do it gladly…but for now….
I LOVE every phase of Sam’s growing up. Every single day gets more FUN! And every day that passes now, I love the little guy more and more. I love his sweet faces he makes as he figures out how to scrunch his nose or stick out his tongue. I love his ever growing vocabulary (currently includes: hi, oh yeah, yes, woof, why, diaper, go, cold, uh-oh and wow) and the hilarious ways he uses the words.
I think ultimately, I feel like the absolute best part of parenting is getting to know these sweet little people who have been entrusted to me. I love seeing which books he loves, which toys are his favorite. I can only imagine how much more fun I will have when he can talk to me and tell me his thoughts!! I don’t want to wish away these wonderful days with him by rushing things, but I definitely don’t mind every day that he learns more and grows into the little boy he is becoming. The same is true of Piper as she is also growing quickly.
So for today, I am finding beauty in the little faces of my two growing kiddos and the fact that every day I am closer to discovering who they are!